CLL: My Personal 20th Anniversary

If pigs could fly…or maybe elephants. Here I am
with one of my six grandkids, having a grand time in the air via a pink elephant!

Celebrating My 20 Year Anniversary of CLL

I remember vividly when I was first diagnosed with CLL at age 46. It was July 2001, shortly before our national disaster. At the time, my brand-new oncologist told me that if I was lucky, I might even live for twenty years. Well, I guess I’m lucky, because here I am. And while CLL has definitely been a life-changing diagnosis, it has not been a quickly life-ending diagnosis, as I thought at the time. In 2001, chemo was the first line of action. And the research I looked up did not look promising. The researchers congratulated themselves on increasing survival time from 1 year to 18 months, calling that a fifty-percent improvement. Yikes! And the quality of life for those taking that chemo sure didn’t enhance those extra months, I’m sure. So, I was a terrified skeptic.

Of course, not everyone is dealt the same cards. Some people get their CLL diagnosis when they’re way beyond watch and wait (W&W). With impending threat to life, they ignore the stats and take their chances, and who can blame them! But from what I see on Facebook these days, there are a lot of us on W&W, and this gives us options. Better yet, it gives us time. Time to make a plan and to make changes. Better yet, there are many non-chemo treatments on the market today, some of them even advertised on TV. I’m glad they are available, and at the same time I’m grateful I don’t need that as yet.

To be honest, it took me a couple of years to stop feeling sorry for myself and get started on working on my health. I’ve learned a lot, met a lot of wonderful people, and in what I hope will be a short article I will share my experience.

Step 1: Learning about EDS

My husband and I talked with a stranger on a flight home from North Carolina (I’m in Michigan), and she told us about going to an alternative practitioner who did EDS, a form of electronic screening or testing to see what was wrong with you and what you needed to get well. Because of this conversation, I went to Ellen, a local nutritionist and alternative practitioner. I didn’t much like or believe in the testing. It was way too woo-woo for my taste. But she did suggest that I had a yeast problem, and further that I had to give up bread and all sugars (and my beloved Slurpees. (7Eleven’s frozen Cokes for those who are unaware). I obviously looked horrified as she said I should do that for a week and return.

Here’s where it gets dicey. She tested me again and said I took care of the yeast. Yes, in one week. But now she could see that I had parasites and needed some of her parasite killer bottles of supplements. I declined, and probably went home for a Slurpee. And a sandwich, and maybe a frozen fudge bar. But here’s the kicker. I had no idea that I would eventually be on a much stricter diet than suggested by Ellen. Today I am sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, and worst of all…low oxalate. It’s a miracle I can find something to eat, but as I’m constantly watching my weight, I guess I’ve been able to meet that challenge. 😊

Step 2: Searching for a Cure

I went to various alternative doctors in Metro Detroit, looking for someone who could guide me to good health. Okay, let’s be honest, I was looking for a cure and willing to do just about anything to get there. None of these doctors provided that golden ticket, but one of them sold books in her waiting room. That was where I came across my first helpful book. I’m sorry but I don’t remember the title OR author, and can’t find it in my house. (My husband now uses books to prop things up on occasion, as I mostly read on my Kindle. If I come across it eventually, I will update this post at that time.) The point of this book was that you could ‘control’ cancer with diet and lifestyle. The start of the book recounted a sign in a wildlife park, “Don’t feed the animals,” the reason being the potato chips and twinkies were bad for their health…and therefore, what about us? To this point, at my hematologist’s word, I was still eating what I thought was a healthy diet. The fact that it included frozen Cokes and ice cream cones (quite regularly) hadn’t changed my opinion of my diet. This is where I started to make change.

Step 3: EMF Remediation

In late 2004, my husband was in the local library, reading a natural health magazine. There was an article about EMFs and it’s affect on health, as well as an ad for an EMF detector (gauss meter). We bought one. I started measuring. It turned out that our bedroom (in which we’d slept for 20 years) measured an average of 7mG (milligauss). The WHO (World Health Organization) at the time listed safe levels at anything under 2mG! We measured again with our electric meter box shut down in the basement. It didn’t have ANY effect on the milligauss reading in our bedroom! Creepier yet, the higher you held the Gauss Meter to the ceiling toward the back of the room (closest to the powerline, just about eight feet from our bedroom), the higher the reading. My husband and I didn’t sleep well that night and moved into a guest room.

Long story short, it took five months to remediate the issue. Detroit Edison (now DTE) did not take me seriously at first, but eventually revealed that they had an EMF department! That alone was no help. The EMF department’s goal was to make me feel like a fool. They didn’t talk about danger, but instead about my “comfort” level, like I was a lunatic. For the full story, see my other website, EMFDamage.com.

Step 4: Macrobiotics

 Despite my new and improved “anti-cancer diet” (my words), my WBC persisted in climbing. Keep in mind that I was now eating store-bought organic cookies topped with sweetened yogurt. I had a long way to go, but at least I was on the path. There wasn’t much encouragement on the Internet just yet. At the time, a Google search for “cure CLL” (or something like that) brought up a lot of depressing information about chemo treatments and life expectancy. Or, worse yet, end-of-life planning. So I went to the bookstore and started searching for books. I might have even bought some online. One favorite was, I Beat Cancer: 50 People Tell You How They Did It. That led to many other books about the Gerson diet, the Breuss cure, and others. But the one that stood out, spoke to me, if you will, was The Macrobiotic Way, by Michio Kushi, which led to a trip to Western Massachusetts, to the now-defunct Kushi Institute for a week of intensive study of the macrobiotic way, which includes diet, exercise, and lifestyle.

I was on the healing diet for nearly two and a half years. I saw the most improvement in the first month. But at the end of two years, my WBC started to climb back up. Worse yet, I was diagnosed with both anemia and osteoporosis/osteopenia. I started adding animal protein and smoothies to my diet. To this day, both the anemia and osteoporosis remain a challenge. Although I eventually left the diet, many of the principles remain. I eat mostly organic vegetables. I don’t cook at high heat. I don’t have white sugar or white noodles (or any noodles for that matter), I wield a large knife against my wooden cutting board in the kitchen. Even in non-Covid times, I rarely eat out, and buy a minimum of processed foods. I am mindful of my stress level and strive to be calm. My husband had noticed my change of personality. I’m no shrinking violet (I’m not shy!) but I rarely agonize about things over which I have zero control.

Step 5: Laetrile

While I don’t believe that vitamin B-17 (amygdalin, laetrile) is a magic bullet, I consider it to be one of the many pillars holding up my health. But in 2007, I didn’t take it lightly. I’d read Dr. Phillip Binzel’s book, Alive and Well: One Doctor’s Experience with Nutrition in the Treatment of Cancer Patients. This book gave the stories of patients of his that had survived cancer via (in his opinion) the use of B-17. I was thrilled to read that one of the patients had CLL. Like a detective, I tracked her down, and unfortunately, I was able to speak only to her husband as she’d recently passed away. Of course this was sad, and discouraging, but I spoke with her husband at length. He felt certain that her life had been prolonged by Dr. Binzel and his protocol. He also admitted that while his wife took the B-17 and even had it via IV treatment, she found it hard to stick to the diet. Given their experience, I felt this was worth pursuing. Time for another road trip.

My husband and I drove east again, this time to Suffern, New York, to the Schachter Center, where we met with Dr. Jeffrey Kopelson. I’m sorry to say that he died several years ago, suddenly, from a heart attack. While I wanted to have B-17 via IV treatment, he advised against it, as it requires many visits and would have been useless during our three-day stay. Instead, he advised taking 500 mg, 3X/day, starting with one pill a day and working my way up to the full dose. I’ve been taking it ever since, and order mostly from TJSupply.com. I’ve heard good things about ApricotPower as well. Read more HERE about how Laetrile works.

Step 6: Ultraviolet Blood Irradiation

This was probably my most exotic treatment to date. I found a doctor about an hour and half away, near my alma mater, Michigan State University, in East Lansing. At first, I went three times a week, then two, then once a week, then every other. The process is that a technician inserts an IV needle and withdraws a pint of blood into a glass container. Your blood is then returned to your body, via that same IV, once it’s gone through an ultraviolet light machine they have for this purpose. It was painless (except for the first poke) and relaxing, and I met many other interesting cancer patients. I eventually stopped after examining my lab chart. I keep my own spreadsheet. I determined that while I was no worse, I was no better. It wasn’t worth the time and expense. This was my experience, and I know that this works well for other people. So please don’t be discouraged if you’re considering IVBI therapy. It’s definitely worth a try.

Step 7: Patient Heal Thyself

One thing I learned about going for the IVBI treatment was that I didn’t have to go to my hematologist for blood work. As I was so frequently going to E. Lansing, where they were drawing blood anyway, I’d gotten into the habit of getting my CBCs done there. It was so much less stressful than a trip to the hematologist where you had to see the people getting chemo while you waited for your blood draw. I used to dread those visits.

But it was a nuisance to go all the way to East Lansing. My son, then a nutritionist, suggested that I use DirectLabs. You go online and order up your tests. The cost is out of pocket, of course, but not much more than the copays I had at the time. You receive a voucher and locate a participating blood draw location. Today I use Quest locations but have used Labcorp in the past. Your results are emailed directly to you. I don’t recommend this if you’re not familiar with reading your own lab results. Or if you feel the need and reassurance of a medical professional. I do a mixture of both. I see a doctor once a year, and get blood draws every three months. It’s been working for me. I don’t like to be surprised and this keeps me in tune to what’s happening with my body as I continue with my diet and with often changing up supplements. It’s a good idea to check with your doctor to make certain that this is a good plan for you.

Step 8: Living with CLL

There are many with CLL who have reported that they have been totally healed from CLL via natural means. I’ve spoken with three of them, all men. I’ve read about two more. This is wonderful and an inspiration to all of us. It can be done! There is a path, but it is our job to find it. Unfortunately, this has not been my experience. I still most definitely have the diagnosis of CLL. Every blood test proves it.

However, and this is a big however, in some ways it doesn’t matter. I’ve changed up my lifestyle and my diet. I’m ever watchful of my lab work. I eat virtually zero processed foods and nothing (zip,zero,nada) foods made with white sugar. Ever. It’s not even that big of a challenge anymore. It’s just the way I live. But while I’ve been working on this, wonderful things have happened.  I’m still here and living my life. I’m still working. I’m still writing and even drawing and illustrating these days. Best of all, I’m still here with my husband and two sons and their families. And as you’ve probably seen, we’ve had six little additions to the family over the last eight years. Six grandchildren! Such an unbelievable blessing! I am grateful every day. If anything has been worth all the work, and all the work to come, it would be this.

Step 9: Sharing

I really left out a step. I believe that it was in 2011 that I started my web site, CLLAlternatives.com. I was worried that I would depress the hell out of people if I died and therefore stopped writing. But it’s been nine years since then, and here I am. Sharing has enabled me to meet and enjoy the friendship of countless CLL Buddies. I keep in touch with people from Ann Arbor (45 minutes away) to London, Spain, Canada, Washington, D.C., New York, California and Florida. There are so many more! Some of these contacts have been fleeting. Many of you I consider to be friends. We are all bound by this terrible and shocking diagnosis that turns into something we can live with. I truly love you all!

As usual, I’m thinking of many more things I could say, but this is long enough. I hope you are inspired to keep on keeping on. Keep up your diet, your lifestyle. Keep testing out supplements and make changes as your health dictates.  Check in with your doctor, but also remember that you are the final decision maker of your own health.

Wishing you all the best of health and happiness! – Denise

CLL DIY treatment

How long do I have to do this!

When I first started trying to treat my CLL naturally, as a DIY project at home, I was still thinking in conventional medical terms. In my mid-forties, I was working towards a CURE, after which I could return to my NORMAL life. (Yes, I’m yelling; there was a lot of passion at that time.) My normal life was seductive, filled with coffee houses, chocolate cake, frozen Cokes, and frequent ice cream cones. I wasn’t fat or food obsessed, but that was my life and I liked it, thank you very much. I was also fond of not worrying about dying young and leaving my sons and husband behind. It was a very bleak time.

CLL as a DIY project. So after a long period of fear and self pity, I started working on my health. Initially, I felt that it was futile.  Locking the barn door after the horse was already stolen. Damage done. DNA ruined. Nothing I could do but watch and wait for the inevitable. I remember going to a local nutritionist/homeopathist who did one of the electronic tests and told me I had a yeast problem and that I needed to go on the yeast diet. This meant no sugar, no bread, no cookies, no frozen Cokes. All the goodies. I was a bit like an addict. I told her I could do it for 5 days, that was it. And I meant it. 

The Anti-Yeast Diet. I was true to my word and I stuck to this seemingly hideous diet for five miserable days. After that, I did, over time give up my precious frozen cokes and ice cream cones. I started buying organic cookies and slathered them with organic yogurt. Okay, I wasn’t there quite yet. The point is that I wanted an end game. And there really isn’t an end game.

The Macrobiotic Diet. Fast forward to 2005. After four years of a CLL diagnosis, my WBC had climbed to the low 20s, which at the time totally freaked me out. So after some research on the Internet, my husband and I packed our bags and drove to the Kushi Institute in western Massachusetts to learn macrobiotics. I was going to CURE myself with this diet, and then I could return to NORMAL. The macrobiotic diet was even more stringent than that hideous yeast diet. It consisted of beans, greens, brown rice and seaweed, with a weekly treat of white fish. It allowed for tempeh, tofu, sauerkraut and seasonings, one whole tablespoon a day of olive oil (no other fats) and lots and lots of kombucha tea. 

After one month of trying it at home prior to our Kushi visit, I lost about 10 pounds and my WBC had returned to 14, where it was at diagnosis. This is why I expected a CURE. I stuck to the healing diet for nearly two and a half years. I was extremely thin. I was waiting to improve those numbers, to get back to NORMAL so I could STOP. (Yes, I’m yelling again, because that’s how I truly felt.) But I didn’t get down to normal. In fact, I stopped the macrobiotic diet at two years and four months because my white count started once again to climb. Also, I was tested and found I had both osteopenia and osteoporosis. And anemia. It was time for a change. 

Reconfiguring my diet. So we got into the car once again, and this time drove to New York where I met with Dr. Kopelson (now deceased) of the Schachter Center (now closed) in Suffern, New York. I returned once again to taking supplements, something not allowed in macrobiotics. I also started juicing, and very slowly started adding eggs, chicken, and fruit. No more tofu or tempeh, yay! (I didn’t like them at all.) But once again, as I started up the supplements, I recall asking the doctor how long I had to do this! Because my goal was still to get CURED, and get back to NORMAL. (Yes, I’m yelling again.)

A (Very) Gradual Turnaround. So when was the big turnaround? When did I realize that this was it? That this WAS my normal? I don’t know. It was a gradual process. I didn’t start writing this blog until 2012, at the urging of my husband who felt that I had a lot to share. “But I’m not cured! I might still die of this and get everyone who reads this all depressed.” But my husband pointed out that it had already been 11 years, and that many newly diagnosed people would still appreciate my words (even if I were to keel over momentarily). Two major factors helped in the turnaround. One was finding out that I had to heal my gut. (Digestive issues had been a life-long problem.) The second was that I could no longer eat food cooked at high temperature. (Burnt food is a known carcinogen that immediate raises our white blood count.) All the efforts put into these two factors, along with my supplements and lifestyle choices, started to turn the course of my CLL markers. It wasn’t one major revelation, or one major pill. It was and still is a process, a continuing process.

The Secret Revealed. Some time after 2012, it finally occurred to me. I had to keep working on my diet and my lifestyle…indefinitely. That’s right. Just like the sign in my dentist’s office: only floss the teeth you want to keep. There you have it. There IS no cure, at least none that I’ve found. There is only management. You have to take the supplements, eat a healthy diet, get exercise and good sleep, drink clean water, breathe clean air, so long as you want to live. Once I got this in my noggin, my attitude changed. No more anxiety about getting cured (CURED!) by a certain date. No more figuring out how to reduce the number of supplements I take (I do take a boatload.) No more dreaming about bumpy cake. Nope. 

Grandchildren and Happiness. The tradeoff is that I no longer worry about my longevity. I’m fairly confident that if I follow the path I’m on that I will continue to be well enough to live my life. So far, I’ve been fortunate enough to see both my sons marry wonderful girls and to become the deliciously happen grandmother of six wonderful uniquely lovable grandchildren. Not too bad for giving up frozen cokes and ice cream. If I’d been given that choice in 2012, I would have been happy to take it.

Forget the Cure and Stay the Course! So if you’re working on a cure, please stop! Once your body has been a host to cancer, that potential is always there. It is your job to make your body as unpleasant for cancer as possible. This means… no sweets, minimal processed foods, minimal fruit, organic clean produce, wild caught fish, free range chicken and beef, and a good working immune system. In short, clean air, clean water, clean food, good nights’ sleep, and regular challenging exercise. Cancer feels unwelcome in such an environment. It is your job, every day, to maintain this inhospitality – and to keep living the good life – your own. 

CLL: How to Eat

living well with cll
Living well with CLL! The author (in red) and some of the family, 4th of July 2018.

Please notice that the name of this article is not ‘what’ to eat, but how. We all think we know how to eat. After all, we’ve been doing this since birth. But sometimes we need a reminder. Let’s start with a scientific fact. Our immune system is strongly related to our gut, also known as our digestive system. Of course, it matters what you put into that system, that is more than true. But as someone who has struggled with digestive problems pretty much her whole life (at least as much of it that I can recall), there is much more to it than the food.

To explain, let me share my Macrobiotic experience. I was diagnosed at stage zero in 2001. In 2005, I was getting increasingly alarmed at my deteriorating blood markers. My platelets were low. My white count was high, and my hemoglobin and red blood count were also worrying. My husband and I did our due diligence and research, and we came up with Macrobiotics. I went to the book store and loaded up on several Macrobiotic texts and cookbooks. We also decided to make a trip over Labor Day to the Kushi Institute in Beckett, Massachusetts, for a week-long class. I believe it was called The Way to Health. (Please note, while I still eat an organic, whole food, mostly cooked-from-scratch diet, I am no longer technically Macrobiotic. Also, the Kushi Institute still has a web site, but they no longer offer the resident classes.)

The first thing I noticed was how the residents were skeletal thin. And many were missing teeth, which was concerning. But I was fighting leukemia here, and if I had to get thin and lose a few teeth in the process, well, that would be the breaks. As it turns out, I did suffer some gum recession and was about twenty pounds thinner than I am these days, but still it was absolutely worth the experience. I learned so much.

One of the first things I learned was to chew my food thoroughly. To count how many times you chewed, chewing until the food in your mouth was liquid — or as close to liquid as possible. To me, this sounded disgusting. But honestly, there is wisdom in this practice. The more work you consciously put into chewing, the less work your digestive system has in order to process your intake each day. When you chew, saliva mixes with your mouthful, adding digestive enzymes to the mix. Yes, those pills you buy in little bottles are naturally available if you just chew, chew, chew.

I’ve recently gone through a spate of serious stomach aches. I’m talking abdominal pain for a 36 hour stretch. Go to bed with a stomach ache and wake up with the same dull ache emanating somewhere from the left side of my waistline and radiating out to other regions of the digestive tract. I felt hunger but was afraid to eat. My husband was out of town on a business trip. I took to the Internet and looked up stomach pain and CLL, learned that it could be related. Of course, this led to a night of insomnia, keeping me from healing. I’m a strong person, but I sometimes also feel the fear.

When my husband came home, I shared my fears. He reminded me about the chewing. It’s so easy to forget. I started out by making myself meals of vegetable miso soup for breakfast, and chicken soup and rice (home made from the freezer, of course) for lunch. For dinner I had a smoothie. Everything I ate was either stewed or mush. Nothing required much chewing, but I chewed nonetheless. I feel better now, back on my regular diet, and I’m obviously very relieved. I was worried it could be the CLL, or my diverticulosis (or diverticulitis) kicking up. I was worried I might end up in the hospital where they would start running invasive tests and wearing down my immune system. (Conventional medicine saves lives, but you must be a careful and cautious consumer!)

But please take note that my main suggestion here is to chew your food well. Sit down when you eat and focus on enjoying your meal. Put a reasonably-sized helping of whatever you’re eating on your plate. Take a look at your plate before you eat and see if you agree that this is enough. Would you think it was enough if you were in a restaurant? That is your clue. Taking seconds will overload your gut and overwork your digestive system. When your digestive system is free from processing that food you put in there, it can work on making you healthy. That’s what IF/intermittent fasting is all about. But that, too, is another article. Just be sure to concentrate on eating while you’re eating. We tend to gulp food while walking around. I’m the worst while I’m cooking, and I’ve resolved not to do that any longer. So eat slowly and mindfully. Put down your fork between bites. Breathe.

So be well, enjoy your food. Eat hearty (but don’t overeat!), and chew, chew, chew!

Wishing you peace and the best of health!

Another CLL Success Story!

I apologize for not posting more often. Now and again I get emails asking if I’m still here–as in alive. Yes! I’m very much alive and relatively well. By relatively, I mostly mean my parents, both of whom are geriatric (82 and 87) and both of whom are ill (congestive heart failure and stroke) and are more time-consuming than I’d like. Between that and part-time work, and an occasional foray into writing my second mystery book, I just don’t make time for this blog.  This is a GOOD reason to be offline, however, compared to what other CLL-ers imagine.

But enough of the introduction. I’m writing because one of you (by “you” I mean one of the many CLL-ers who have contacted me via email) sent me this link: David Lingle’s CLL Healing Story

And here is the video itself:

This is very exciting! Every success story is exciting. It means that it is possible to beat this thing naturally. However…keep in mind that not everyone heals the same way. This is true when the conventional doctors give chemo (some will go into remission, some will not, some will die from the treatment), as it is with natural treatments. The only difference is that with natural treatment, it may not cure you, but it will probably make you healthier.

As I listened to the video, I noted that David Lingle, the man who is now CLL-free, is mostly vegan. Don’t think I want to do that again. It wasn’t so good for me.  When I was macrobiotic for many years I developed both osteoporosis AND anemia. I am now a raw food enthusiast…AND I include slow-cooked organic animal protein as well. I’m not cured. However, I’m doing relatively well. (I’m always as good as my last blood test. It isn’t easy, but most of the time I try to stick to my program and ignore an upcoming blood test. It’s better on the psyche.)

Even if I don’t plan on following this man’s whole program, I’m encouraged to see that he uses an infrared sauna. I’ve been considering that for a long time. I’ve heard from several of you that this helps. Please watch this and see whether this provides hope, inspiration and practical suggestions for your own recovery and good health.